Who do you turn to?

Ever been in a crowed room and felt alone? Have you ever wanted to just fly away for a week or two (not on a plane...LOL)? When you feel like this who do you turn to? Yeah, people say...if you need anything just let me know...Well, what am I suppose to do...? Pick up the phone and call someone and ask them to listen to me cry? Please people stop telling people this if you don't mean it. If you are not willing to help...then don't tell the person that you will help in anyway...lol Yes, I am laughing at that part because it is quite comical how it has become the thing to say..."let me know how I can help" WTF.... Just help in any way....Not everyone wants to have to say...Can you ? or Will you? And then what about the people who said that and I stepped up and asked...and you know what happened ..."Well, I would but..." See, they should not have said a thing...LOL I think I shocked them with a request:) But anyway, I got sidetracked with this portion...because I wanted to get it off my chest. Back to the matter at hand...

Everyone has a place where no matter what happens they feel safe, a haven. For me this was my mom's house. I knew that I could open that door and receive a hug that was filled with unconditional love. I knew that she would fight to protect me against any enemy. I knew my position with her, my place in her life. When I stepped into the house, I knew my worth. So now what? Where do I go? What do I do? Who do I share these feelings with? Who wants to hear it? I have a void!

Does someone have a manual on who you turn to when you are use to being the one people turn to? I am a "listener"...that is my role. So who am I suppose to talk to?

Okay, yeah this may sound like jibberish...but those of you who have felt alone in the world...hit me up. What did you do? What helped you get through? Who helped you get through?

Easy equals young, old equals ?

I believe life is easy. Stop rolling your eyes...LOL I do believe that life is easy and it is the older humans that make it complex. As we get older, our belief system shifts causing us to sway away from easy. A key example is listening to your friends and their problems....in your mind you are thinking this is an easy fix...in their mind (along with their emotions) it is a difficult task. Take me for instance, I hate my job right now. The younger me would hustle and grind and get on another path. The older me is looking at all the complexities that come along with this change. You don't believe me. Think back to when you were under the age of 18. You believed that most things were an easy fix. You believed that you would be whatever you wanted to be. You believed in the innocence of love. You believed that life was fair and if you lived right...good things would happen. Now, think about how you feel now. Has it changed? What is the impact of the change of thinking on your life? Do you still believe life is fair? What about good things happening to good people? Let me know what you think....

What ...You are getting a boo?

A group of us....placed names for Halloween in a basket...pulled names...and that person was your "Boo" for the week. Your Boo placed things in your mailbox or had someone deliver presents to you all week. Okay...I am not saying go get you a Boo....LOL But it was so much fun! People were creative and very giving. People would see you and say "Are you my Boo?"...Yeah, we are big KIDS...but it made a negative place, positive for a week:)

Show you better than I can tell you!

Why do you have to show people that you mean business? Why can't they take your word on the situation? Okay...you tell people at your job...." I am not going to be the only one working hard!" They don't listen but still expect you to work hard while others chill....WTF

Introducing....Show'em Sally....LOL that will be me for the rest of the time....until there is the same expectations for all people...equal work for equal positions...Fight the power! Can you hear the music? LOL

Why can't people get it before you have to take it to this level?

Women supporting Women

I know several women with goals they are trying to accomplish. They need help. This posting is for them and the rest of you with goals. My ladies that are studying for a test...post the date and how many questions you studied that day. If you don't post a date, the rest of us will think you did nothing that day towards your goal:) I will post also..just to make it fair...LOL

Don't allow anything to stand in your way....you will accomplish your goals! Go ladies...Go ladies...when I say Go, you say Ladies....I can't hear you!

New path, change directions?

How do you know when to change paths or directions? employment, friends, children, society, religion, family...... How do you know the difference between a dry spell and a change the course spell? I use to listen to the "whispers" of what I could hear God saying....but (gasp)...he is not talking or I am not connected. Did he put me on the "no call" list? LOL Does he want me to figure it out by myself?

Okay...Question: who can you be totally truthful with? I mean down to the bone honesty....where you release and feel better for it. How do you decide when to change course or directions...? Help me people...I am on the edge...and no I don't have wings...LOL

Venting....not so positive today....

Okay people..can I get real with it....I need a break...I need a moment to just be...I need a moment where everything is about me...no one pulling from me, no one draining me, no one talking to me (just about them) and not once interested in me and what is going on with me...a moment to just be ME and not a label or a title...a moment to be in charge of my time and not have someone else tell me where I am driving, going or need to be for someone else.....a moment to release a small amount of air from my mouth...a moment in time...to not feel guilty that I feel this way.....LOL UGH!

17 again!

I watched the movie 17 Again last night. This has me thinking...if you had the chance would you want to go back and be 17 again? The tight body and tons of energy would be a great combination with my new found confidence and wisdom. The drawback....the "girl" spats...lol Don't act like you don't know...some people are still hating someone from high school...LOL
The innocence of love and life were pure at 17. The negatives of the world hasn't touched you at that age.

Let me know...would you go back and live the 17th year all over again? And yeah Tika...you would then be able to go back to your regular age....LOL

Safety of our children

Just finished reading an excellent book (A Deep Dark Secret by Kimberla Lawson Roby). The topic of child abuse is explored throughout the fictional journey of the characters. It made me think and want to discuss the topic. Due to the fact that I have no friends...LOL...I am forced to have the discussion with myself (and the two of you that continue to read my blog...LOL).

Are we closing our eyes to the problem of child abuse? This book explored the sexual abuse of children. Are we having enough conversations with our children about the issue? As a culture, why do we tend to want to keep things/issues in the home quiet? Does this assist with the increase of abuse? What would you do if your child told you that someone was touching them? What if it was a family member?

As you can see, this book has me thinking. What about our sons? How do we help them understand that boys can be abused also? How do you have the conversation without having them not trust anyone? I want to ensure that my children would feel comfortable in telling me about the issue..but in reading...I began to feel that sometimes it is not so cut and dry as tell/not tell. The emotions that are involved seemed to be so complex and heavy.

Let me know what you think, feel, know, believe....

What's on your mind?

I am wondering what is going on with you all. Take a moment and release. Let it all out.

Boot Camp....?

Based on your encouraging remarks.. I stepped out and went to a training called "Boot Camp" at the local gym. Now, I am a smart person so you would think the "title" of the camp would give me a hint (wrong)...LOL I got up with a positive attitude ready to embrace a new experience. I forgot one thing...I AM OVER FORTY! Well, the boot camp people reminded me when the whistle kept blowing and the man kept yelling "man down"...which was a signal to fall down and do push ups...by the third set of jogging, falling and pushing....my heart came out of my body, looked at me and said "REALLY" LOL I am proud to say that I survived this hour of punishment...but I don't know if I am EVER going back...LOL My advice to all under thirty....don't stop working out....it is better to maintain a great body than to have to try to get it back through pain and weak joints :^)

Day four and counting....

I have worked out four days in a row. This would be the time for you to cheer and clap:) No, really, this is a huge step for me. I hate it! But in order to get rid of this middle flab of mine...I have to work on it. I need some positive comments. I need your support people on this quest to get a flat belly:) Let me know your secret. What do you do to keep (or get back to) your winning shape?

I think I can make it!

It is here....well, it will be in a couple of days.....Yeah! Summer...here I come...full steam ahead...time to relax, kick back on my husband's big deck and listen to music....yes....I need this more than anyone you will ever meet. Yes, more than Step and Kim....LOL It is time to pack away the bulletin boards and paper clips...no IEPs, 504s, abcs, 123s..lmnop...I will have time to use the restroom, time to think, time to just be.....Can you say "Fantastic"?

Oh now you want to give away free food!

Some of you have asked..."How is the not eating out thing going?" Not too good. The entire world is against me...LOL First Oprah and the KFC free grilled chicken...I was so tempted to eat out:) Then, people started sending me coupons and 1/2 off specials for TGIF, an italian rest., doughnuts and the list goes on. As if that was not enough...people at work began to say "it's on me...I will buy you lunch..." ugh! Did they read my blog and now they are plotting an evil plan to take me down and make me eat out...? LOL
I am holding my ground but it is soooooooooooo hard. The other day I went to an event uptown and the food hit your nose before you entered the building. I was so tempted to buy a large order of cheese fries...LOL We stayed at the event for five hours and did not eat a thing that didn't come from home...Yes, we were "country bamas" and had food in our bags....LOL Don't judge me:) I am on a mission of achieving my goal of not eating out for one month....LOL

What are you trying to accomplish this month? Let me know and I will be supportive of your efforts.

Giving it up, Giving it up

We are giving up eating out for an entire month. Yes, a month of no eating out. This may not be much for some of you...but for me..it is a true scrafice! This means I cannot call and say "Mommy is bringing home chicken nuggets and fries...." and then zoom into the drive thru, place an order, pay and go home and get one hour of relaxation with no one bothering me....LOL
Today we went to a couple of stores and usually I would have wanted a nice, hot meal to go along with my day out...but no, I came home and ate food out of my freezer. Let me know if you have tried this before. What problems did you have with not eating out? Pray for me on my month of giving it up:)

The truth will set you free....

I have heard this multiple times this week. It has caused me to think about the pros and cons of telling the truth. A key example is what do you say when someone asks "How does my breath smell?" or "Am I gaining weight?" What about "Is my boyfriend cute?" or "Should I leave him?"....My point is there are times when the whole truth may not be the right answer. Or should you tell the truth no matter what and not worry about the feelings of others? What percentage of your day is spent telling the truth? What impacts your decision to tell the truth or not?

No..ughh...Spring Break is over!

Help me. The week went by so fast. To all my family members that will have the next week off...appreciate it, savor it, enjoy it...because you blink and it is over. But here is the deal... I need help with strategies on how to have the same relaxing feeling during the work week as we have on spring break. Hit me up and let me know things that have worked for you. I am open. I will try anything:) I need to be able to relax, relate and release during the work week. Please people ....be kind and help a sister out....LOL

What If....

Recently, I spent some time with my family (sisters, parents, uncles, cousins...) The topic of patterns in families increased my interest on the subject. Patterns in the perspective of things happening in one generation and then passed down to another generation. Key examples would be how we interact with the opposite sex, weight gain, self-esteem issues, substance abuse...and the list goes on. We all agreed communication is the key to combating these issues. This in turn caused me to wonder what I would communicate to the 30 year old me...If I could speak with her today....or vice versa...what would the 30 year old me say to the me now....ugh...LOL
So I am asking you to think about the you (ten years ago)...what would you say to that person? or What do you think that person would say to you now?

As for me, I know I would tell the 30 year old me to enjoy the body....because "years, unlike milk, does not do a body good"....LOL I would also say believe in yourself....don't allow other people to place their thoughts of you in your head. I would encourage her to put "herself" first. I would say Laugh more, Learn more, and Live with a determination.

Reward for Poor Performance

Hold on to your seats....even in this economy people are still performing below standard. Continue to hold on to your seats because the reward for poor performance is less work. No, I am not kidding. A woman at my job has been absent excessively and when she comes to work she performs as if she is still at home. Now get this....today they rewarded her by taking her work load and giving it to everyone on the team. You would think that this means she doesn't have a job...no, she now has even more free time with the same paycheck. Ugghhhh! So now I have to work harder because she didn't work from the beginning. She will get to show up and have a smaller work load. Help! Someone help me come to terms with this type of reward for bad behavior. How would you feel if your work load increased by 50% because of someone else who receives no decrease in pay? What should I say to the leader of this company?

Selfish people...

In the past several weeks, I have had conversations with different people about different examples of selfish behavior. The theme is clear....2009 is the year of the selfish. What is your definition of selfish? Give me an example. Here's mine....When you ask more of your friend, partner, spouse, children...etc than you give to them. There are varying degrees of selfishness in my opinion. A small degree....calling someone and only talking with them on the cell phone until you get to your destination....LOL

Harlem Globetrotters....the tradition continues

As a child, my father spent time one on one time with me. When the Globetrotters were in town we would attend the event. He would treat me with care and love. The event is a fun, family event. Now another generation can share in the memories.

http://www.printroom.com/ViewGalleryPhoto.asp?evgroupid=0&userid=HGT&gallery_id=1477153&image_id=27

Click the link above to see the father/daughter picture from the event on Saturday. My husband's way of sharing in the tradition:)

We have to make sure that our daughters understand what it feels like to get positive attention from a man:) Fathers, your daughters are looking to you for inside information about the opposite sex....how you are may directly impact who they date:)

Question: What is the impact of a positive father on a young girl's life? What is the impact of a negative or absent father?
Mothers: What are you doing to encourage the father/daughter relationships?

Fear not......

Recently, I had the opportunity to speak with a group of teens in an open forum. In exploring the topic of fear, I realized that they only thought of fear as being afraid of insects, heights, parents...etc. Upon asking them to dig deeper, we began to explore the fears of failure. They were expressing their deep darkest fears of being alone, not going to college, never being loved...etc. Then, one teen asked me what was my biggest fear.....(silence). How did they flip this to talking about me and trying to make me think..? :-) So, I had to admit that I have plenty of fears (scream) and one of them is the fear of being misunderstood. Hence, the blog in which I come out of my comfort zone and share my thoughts without worrying (not all of the time) about you misunderstanding...Okay, I am still working on it...LOL So, now I am turning the tables on you....What are you fearful of and why?

Open mouth insert foot....

Okay Tika jump in on this one. Read carefully. This is a script....
Coworker: wow...you have a pouch?
Me: huh?
Coworker: you have put on some pounds, huh?
Me: what?
Coworker: are you in the motherly way?
Me: (angry face:(
Coworker: well, you look good with the extra pounds...how much are we talking?
The bubble over my head grew....filled with all kinds of words that I could have said ...but I walk away...taking all of my extra pounds with me.....LOL

Question: How would you have reacted? What do you say when coworkers say personal things that may impact your self-image?

How many minutes a day do you spend talking with your child?

On a radio show yesterday they stated that research shows the average father talks with his children seven minutes a day and the average mother talks with her children thirty minutes a day. The radio host stated that this is quality conversation....not the "stop, sit down, stop fighting" that we shout through the house:) My question to you is....How many minutes do you spend talking with your children? If it is lower than you want it to be, what are you going to do to change it? If it is higher than the average...let us know your secrets and strategies on increasing the minutes.

Inspiring others to give....

After my surprise birthday party, my cousin sent me another gift in the mail. She sent me a picture book which documented the events of the party. Words cannot express how wonderful it was to open the package and see all of the smiling faces:) This inspired me to want to have a positive impact on someone else's life.....The results have been amazing. I could hear the love and laughter in my sister's voice when she called after receiving something from me in the mail. This leads me to my question for you......What have you done this week to inspire someone else to do something positive? What impact have you made on the lives of others?

Thanks Kim...you are an inspiration!

Father, Daughter Time

What father/daughter memories do you have? What are you doing to make sure your daughter remembers you in a positive light?